Kola gazed the ceiling of his stuffy room with reckless abandon. He thought of nothing else but how his life was in shambles. He could hardly get excited by the wallpapers of FC Barcelona glued all over his room which was basically impossible. Whenever Kola was asked why he had so many wallpapers of Barcelona pasted all over his room; He would go- “different things make different people happy. This does” . He retorted this every time. There was no happiness for Kola now. Kola’s heart was heavy with with everything else but joy. He had never been more bitter
Few months ago, Kola was having the time of his life or perhaps he thought. He had finally gotten over the death of his father. Or at least, found a way to self medicate. His father wasn’t the typical father of the year. He never had a good father-son relationship… they seem not to connect on the same spiritual level. The reason for this was woven in a fabric of mysteries even after his father’s passing. No matter how remarkable Kola did with almost no support from his father, it was only appreciated by his mother.
How could he forget? Like burn marks scorched on a piece of paper it was there forever. Kola had just returned from school bearing news of being at the top of the class and a scholarship to back that. The happiness was unrivaled. Everyone cheered. Kola’s dad scoffed unapologetically. At that moment Kola was consumed with rage and began to doubt who his birth father was.
He never candidly had real love for his father… neither did he care so much after his passing or was he lying to himself? Wh was he on this getaway? Why was he in the midst of this scruffy-looking boys he knew almost nothing about? Why was he buried in the stench of dirt and fumes of weed? Most importantly, why was he in this burrow?
This wasn’t a lifestyle Kola was accustomed to so it only became a dagger in his chest as every daring move he took left him with a scar. But he continued, hoping to adapt and forget about his father. Forget about the confession of his mother. Forget his whole life had been a lie. Forget that he was the seed of an unwanted union. That he was a bastard and the man he knew all along to be his father was just a husband to his mother and they werent related by blood.
Just when it got a lot better, to him; fitting in, participating in all their dirty games and spending all nights out, Kola found himself behind bars. He was tortured by not only the prison wards but the TRUTH. Sleeping wasn’t on his to do list so he stayed up days facing the bitterness when he realized he had no one else other than his mother. The pain of thinking of how much hurt he had caused her left him so much guilt he could end his life. All it took was a little cut. He thought of it.
Five days was like five months but his mom was finally able to put together his bail and he was let out.
Today, he wept because he couldn’t bear the pain of his actions. He could feel his heart ache harder as images of his mother in tears somehow got hands and choked his heart. The only one who believed in him, gave him all the attention and showed him so much love, how could he be the reason she sobbed today?